What’s the worst that can ever happen the next morning of having a passionate, impromptu sex with the person you are supposedly in love with? Probably nothing. Wait. Probably everything.
Her bedroom’s clock displayed half past eight. Still laying on her side, Ashi opened her eyelids in a swift and closed them back swifter, to convince herself that it’s just a super erotic morning dream she’d just experienced. That her bubble of virginity wasn’t pricked, that it’s intact, that she didn’t end up having sex in her own bedroom, in her own bed, that she didn’t end up sleeping next to the only man she loved.
Denial technique didn’t seem to have worked. She knew everything was real. She closed her eyes tighter and rubbed her temples. Her mind was a hurricane. Thoughts, well, traversing at a speed of a light year maybe.
“What next? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, what level of embarrassment does one have to go through after having sex with someone who doesn’t even love you?”
“Accepting that you love him, yes, you weren’t able to face him after that, and now, what now? How on this earth will you talk to him?” Her subconscious shot the words sneering at her.
“Where the fuck were you yesterday night?” Ashi bawled back agitated.
“I was watching porn.” Her subconscious mocked in response.
Her words made her go all weary.
“Earth, please swallow me up to save me from anything and everything that comes up next.” She further thought, still laying on her side too afraid to turn and find Rihaan sleeping next to her.
“Disappearance. Yes, if Rihaan leaves after this (or maybe if he’s already left). Well yes, that would answer a lot of questions and I don’t have to face the sheepish talks.”
She opened her eyes slowly this time. All she could rest them on was the mirror mounted on the wall opposite, facing her. She checked her background for any bumpy figure that could possibly be laying under the covers, but there wasn’t any. “No bumpiness.” She made a mental note. She rolled over to her other side and quickly shut her eyes. Opening her right eye slowly she peeked through it for any signs of Rihaan. But Rihaan was nowhere to be seen. It partly filled her with a sense of relief and disappointment at the same time.
“How can he leave like this? Maybe it’s casual for him to do this. Maybe he does that usually, with everyone he has sex with. Jeesh. Why does this have to be so knotty?” She thought, laying on her side staring at the folds and creases on the covers to her side.
“You already up?” A voice bumped into her thoughts and her eyes followed the source the voice came from. It was Rihaan. He sauntered the distance as he spoke carrying a tray in his hands. Thinking of the tray and food Ashi thought about how badly she’s starving. But Rihaan’s view made her to forget her hunger, thirst and possibly everything. He was wearing the same jeans he wore last night. Only jeans. Nothing else. Ashi stared at his bare body with a clear anticipation to creep her fingers on it and she visibly swallowed.
He slightly blushed at her reaction and his lips curved into a boyish smile before he continued, “You’re wearing my T-shirt.” He pointed at her. “You’re feeling cold so I put it on you rather put you inside it before leaving the room.” Smiling coyly, he placed the tray on the side table and padding to the other side of the bed, sat on its edge, beside Ashi.
Ashi sheepishly looked at her own self under the covers and mustered a brief, “Thanks”.
Silence filled the room. Rihaan portrayed to be busy in his phone while Ashi decided to ask him straight questions, twice, and backed out the last moment. She looked everywhere else except at Rihaan making it obvious that she’s too abashed and chastened to even look at him. Avoiding him seemed like she’s actually concentrating on him but through her side sight. She silently chastised herself for being a desperate hoe last night. Her mind was still a clutter of questions. A frown had permanently made it to her forehead, since today morning. After a few minutes that felt like forever, Rihaan finally locked his iPhone with a click and stretched his body over Ashi’s to reach the side table. Ashi’s reflexes immediately reacted and she shrank back in shock.
“Calm down, Jumpiness. I’m just getting the tray.” Rihaan smiled, his smile a reassuring one, touching his eyes as he spoke. His smile recomposed Ashi and her stance.
“Eat. You look famished. Malnourished rather.” Rihaan placed the tray filled with food beside her.
“I don’t want to eat. I’m not hun–“,
“Gry. I know.” Rihaan said completing her sentence. “But I –“
“But I want to talk before I eat anything.” Ashi interrupted and finally spat out something she’s holding in all this while.