Every other day, I trip over something stating or proving its point about real man/men. Quotes, one-liners, write-ups, blogs that explain the qualities of a real man.
Real men, well, the combination itself looks like an oxymoron and sounds fictional at a glance. Often delusional. Satire apart, it has a lot more to it than just a couple of words clumped together. It’s an oceanic base attached to it. You’ll understand the depth as we proceed and progress.
I’m not claiming that I know what men are or how are the real men distinguished from the unreal ones. As a woman of values and strong non-negotiable principles, I’ve always viewed everything through a mirror vision – viewing everything after a detailed understanding about our own self. I firmly believe that until we know ourselves well, we aren’t in an optimum position to know others or to judge them; may it be a man, a woman, an animal or even a micro-organism.
Again, I don’t deny the things mentioned in those quotes or one-liners. People write a quote based on their experiences or something they find recurring in nature. A real man doesn’t raise his hand to a woman, a real man is loyal, a real man is faithful, a real man supports his woman, a real man never leaves. Sigh. A real man never breaks her trust, a real man always respects women – looks like a man need a lot more than just a male genital and a working manhood to become a real man –
Yes, I greedily accept these facts. Every woman will and she has to. There’s no escaping from that. But before we point a finger at men about the things they should do, shouldn’t we just pause for a moment and contemplate what a real woman does? Or rather what should she do? Shouldn’t she be loyal, trustworthy, understanding, live up to the expectations of her man, and be faithful? Was it always only obliged upon men to follow these and not women?
It’s nature’s law that we’ve to give first in order to receive. To grow a tree, we’ve to plant a seed, to have a baby we’ve to give in our virginity – I know that was off track, but it’s a hard-slapped fact – So basically, in order to receive every single thing mentioned above, shouldn’t we take an initiative to plant that thing first? Oh yes, but again the question arises – why me? Why should I be taking all the initiatives? Just a one liner reminder in this case – the world remembers the one who initiated, not the one who followed. A win-win situation, Ladies. Forsooth.
I know we think we all do. And yes ladies, we undoubtedly do. But if we plant a seed and forget watering the plant daily, do we expect the plant to grow? A rational answer is – no, we don’t. so, how can we expect similar results here?
Our job as a woman or a mother never ends after the birth of a child; instead it escalates till we raise a child well. The basics are the same. Applications may differ depending upon the situation and people around.
It has always been proven that the stronger suffers the most. And if we’re stronger of both the sexes – a biologically proven fact; doesn’t the suffering quotient come unaided?
If we’re bestowed upon by nature to be stronger by the virtue of our birth, who are we to decide that we are not? Of course, we are. We’ve a better power and vision to understand the incomprehensible.
– I don’t expect you all to walk in their shoes, but at least don’t make them walk in your stilettos. We all know how difficult it is, Ladies –
In a nutshell, Real Men aren’t born; Real Men are created by Real Women.
P.S. If a man fails to attain the level in spite of the consistent, cent percent efforts taken by a real woman; she has a right to burn him down and move on.
My theory is, there’s nothing called real/unreal men/women. Each man and each woman is unique, and is a real man and a real woman respectively. Different real men and real women will behave differently in different real situations guided by different real thoughts.
So the distinction that we make is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and not ‘real’ and ‘unreal’. And even though what is good and what is bad is subjective (and at times contradictory when it comes to different frames of references), real men and real women can be conditioned to be what is collectively accepted as ‘good’. Now that is where the role of civilization comes in. And I’m not taking a globalist position by saying ‘human civilization’. There’s nothing called ‘human civilization’, there’s a human ‘species’ which has different civilizations. And each civilization has its own aspirations based on the ideology on which it is formed.
And such aspirations would not be similar across different human civilizations, because they are consequent to the ideology which lies at their basis. At times civilizations clash, because of not merely a clash of aspirations, but a clash of core ideologies. And therefore, what creates good men might be good women, speaking on a micro-level. But what creates good women themselves is a good civilization, speaking on a macro level. And what creates a good civilization is a good ideology and a high level of adherence to the ideology by the civilization’s civilians. Now what could be the way to incentivize such high level of tolerance to the ideology?
PS: How you define ‘good’ men and ‘good’ women will also vary across civilizations and is again based on the ideology that guides the aspirations of each civilization.
Thank you for putting so much of effort in my writeup. Again, means a lot to me as a writer. I surely respect perceptions because it helps me to learn. And learning at any level is welcomed. 🤗😌❤️